Wedding Humor - Jokes & Cartoons "A toast to the two secrets of a happy marriage: Here's to a good sense of humor and a short memory!" Two antenna meet on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was great! Q: Why do bachelors like smart women? A: Opposites attract. A little girl asked her father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, honey, I'm still paying for it." After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the wife replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it." Marriage is like a 3-ring circus : - The Engagement Ring - The Wedding Ring - The Suffer-Ring Married life is full of excitement and frustration : - In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. - In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. - In the third year, they BOTH speak and the NEIGHBOURS listen. Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence "The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it." While walking down the aisle, there are 3 words on a woman's mind: "Aisle, Alter, Hymn!" A little girl was at a wedding with her parents. After the wedding, she asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What do you mean?"responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man and came back with another." The shortest sentence in the world is "I am." The longest sentence in the world is "I do." |
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" IT'S JUST GOING TO BE ME. THE GROOM WAS RUINING EVERYTHING." |
THE PERFECT DRESS Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement not even her parents' nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the exact same dress! Jennifer asked her to exchange it, but she refused. "Absolutely not. I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it," she replied. Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day." A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it." Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding." |
" I just remembered something. We forgot to put "open bar" on the invitations." |
" SORRY, JOHNSON, BUT IF I LET YOU TAKE AN EXTRA HALF HOUR FOR LUNCH, PRETTY SOON EVERYONE'S GONNA WANT TO GET MARRIED." |
" WE HAD A CIVIL CEREMONY LAST YEAR, BUT OF COURSE WE WEREN'T MARRIED IN THE EYES OF RETAIL." |
" FOR A COMPLETE WASTE OF MONEY, I THINK THIS TURNED OUR PRETTY WELL." |
